so much to say...
had a great time at amy's wedding shower and really appreciated the girl time only such a trip can provide. my friends truely make my life an enjoyable experience... i only wish amy could fully appreciate how truely gorgeous she looks, yes, the awesome make-up and hair help.... but i mean all the time. when she is happy, she glows and she is clueless... it is part of what makes her so sweet and innocent (hahaha)
no but really... what is this epidemic of beautiful, intellegent, totally capable young women who know they are smart because of thier achievements, know they are capable (sometimes) because of their abilities... but apparently never absorbed the fact that they too, are beautiful. even if they are told that they are... they don't believe it. (seriously think about how many women you know who fit this category!) i wonder what would happen if they all suddenly suffered an affliction of suspension of disbelief... and saw what everyone else around them saw. myself included. maybe this needs to be a part of the new feminist movement... helping the next generation accept what they look like, and appreciating just how beautiful they really are. no conceit, just a good self-appreciation. maybe an increase in self-esteem... (the piano elevator music version of what a wonderful world this could be swells in the quiet after the schpiel)
my job is going well. i see real animals and try my best to help them and their owners (sorry.. banfield Pet parents)... i am really happy here. i work with a great bunch of people. they are efficient, funny, fun-loving people and i am blessed to have such a great group... they are letting me choose which sick patients to slowly widen my work and build my confidence....
it is only natural for a new vet to need to build their confidence... they have never worked without someone watching over their shoulder, ensuring they don't make a mistake... someone to talk everything out with and double and triple check before you do anything... it is a bit of a culture shock to suddenly think that you are suddenly solely responsible for the lives and deaths of your patients under your care.
it is one thinkg to know and expect that you are new to this, this is difficult, and you have a low level of confidence due to a lack of experience... it is another to realize that not only is all of this true, but 4 years of degrading, mind-blowing, self-esteem destroying medical education has pussy-whipped me into a blubbering fool incapable of acting on my own knowledge and self-initiative. especially since i still don't have my license and am therefore not endangering my own ability to practice medicine in the future... and at this point, i am only seeing things that i KNOW and am familiar with. for goodness' sake! if i know i am doing it right, why do i need confirmation and back pats to go with it. why isn't my voice good enough? this should dissipate with time. i know it will get better, but i have never been well known for my patience (stop laughing! it's not funny to laugh at the impatient girl...) but i love my job. every day i get better, i am learning the flow well, i am understanding the computer system better... life is good.
anywho, in other exciting news, our bedframe is coming today! yippee!!! no more sleeping on the floor for me! and my paycheck is also coming on saturday! double yippee!!! i plan on dancing across the clinic, butt a wiggling, at the sight of my largest payload ever! it's a real job if they pay you, right?
and in other news, i went to the boone (as in daniel boone) county fair last night with a bunch of girls from work. i ate cotten candy, got to watch the walking horses show (this is extreemely funny and i highly recommmend seeing it for yourself sometime. imagine a horse walking on it's hind legs and flipping it's front legs out as it goes. and the riders are all hunched over like little old men in shriner's cars...), toured the little rides, saw some bad karyoke, and even watched a demolition derby race (yes, i said race... they had to do figure 8s around a track like those toy cars we all had when we werre little... sooo much fun! amazing to see old front wheel drives do some stunts like that in the mud... and 2 cars even caught on fire! i am finding and coming to terms with my inner red-neck hick! and wow, the announcers were something else!) i feel initiated into kentucky life. the state fair is next week... yeehaw! too bad we missed the frog racing contest... one of the girls was going to enter it! tomorrow is the watermellon seed spitting contest... and the boy's pig wrestle... i love this state!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hooray for fairs! You're making me miss Texas. Looking forward to some Southern fun when we visit in October!
I get discouraged sometimes when I think about self esteem issues; I don't think my parents could have done anything more to raise a confident feminist, but I still struggle with body issues and other confidence issues. Maybe progress in this area is naturally gradual ... but it's frustrating.
we found a great bbq place... can't wait to take you!
i think the beauty issue is a tough one to broach as well because of the changes in stereotyping that goes with being a feminist over the years... and changes in aesthetics altering what it means to be beautiful. for instance, many feminists would do exactly what was counter to current beauty trends in order to make a statement and create an identity. similar to the goth movement... can one be beautiful and not follow a beauty regimine, can one be a feminist and rigorously follow one... while i think the answer to both of these questions are resounding yeses, it is a more difficult path to tred, and at that point, do we make everyone beautiful, and does that negate the value of the term... i think it is easy for us to discern that we are not beautiful because of all the little fiddley-bits logical argumentation like this makes us see; and that we have difficulty resolving. blah blah blah, peach cobbler.
Post a Comment